inherentdecadence: (Default)
[personal profile] inherentdecadence
It angers me. To be in this state- desperate for passion, interaction, invigoration in my life. To think it is something better to be speaking to someone "out-world" than any one from my Victorian London; to be dissatisfied with it. Why? I ask myself, has my existence corrupted itself so far that I am no longer contented with what I once was?

Perhaps that is merely the story I am doomed to tell. Condemned to discontentment with every new thing I encounter; condemned to find myself disillusioned, discarding piece after piece of my skin away, until I can but hope I am naught but a shining angel underneath. Ha! If at best, a dark shadow of some devil.

I wish. I plea in my mind that someone will grant me their attention, someone besides whom I am used to. That I will be allowed to frollick amongst the people I so desire, able to charm and flatter and laugh. I am, instead, alone - lonely, without the socialisation I need. And am I to complain? Perhaps, I am over-entitled. After all, there is nothing to stop me attending parties in my own world, but now, they are nothing to me. Nothing.

Date: 2013-04-08 11:23 pm (UTC)
theresistance: A banner reading "WE ARE THE SICK YOUTH" hanging over an electric keyboard (Default)
From: [personal profile] theresistance
Ah, my icon isn't accessible any longer. How annoying.

I go back and forth between wanting interaction and scorning it. Who could I possibly care to interact with here? So far my experiences outside of you have been largely disappointing. Though that's hardly different from home I suppose.

-Ciel

Date: 2013-04-10 07:49 am (UTC)
theresistance: A picture of a skull, held by a person with gloved hands (Phantomhive)
From: [personal profile] theresistance
Ah, don't take it personally. As a whole, we are really quite terrible at responding to comments. I hadn't gotten round to responding yet, not because of lack of interest, but because I am almost never at front, and we are very very preoccupied with school and other things, and haven't been commenting.

If I am no longer interested, you will know.

Solace in the other members of my system? Hardly. Most of them are not of interest to me, or their interests are not of interest to me. Does it seem we're in concordance or all get along? That is far from the truth. Many of us tolerate each other at best. We do not share living space, not in the way I think many systems do, so I am not terribly worried about it. I ignore most of them. It's a mutually agreed upon, if unspoken, arrangement.

My home? London, or just outside of it, really. Living in the city proper isn't quite to my liking. Too crowded, even so long ago now.

I am not sure what, precisely, you wish to know.

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D. G.

April 2015

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